Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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