so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
