I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
