You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
