Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
my poor anus
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