i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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