Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
