How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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