dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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