It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
