booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize