I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
