i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
