hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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