just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
