Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
