After last night, I could never be a politician.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
