That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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