i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
