I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
