you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
