More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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