Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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