my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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