I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
