Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
