Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
