JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
