when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
