I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
