I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
