I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
