My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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