we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
