I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
