Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
