On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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