Me. At least after what I've been through.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
