my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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