You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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