Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
