Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
