guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
