i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
