am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I checked into jail on foursquare
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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