Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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