Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
