Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My feet surprised me
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
