THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
