I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
